TEN WAYS TO MESS UP YOUR
By Chuck Wells
- Donít tell your agent about
the car accident you just had because you are afraid your rates
will go up. Two years later when the other driver sues you
because of some lame injury, you can try and get your insurance
company to defend you. Of course, by then, they will probably
tell you to get lost.
- Get your car fixed or throw away
damaged property before the insurance adjuster has a chance to
see it. Then complain when you are not paid the amount you
- Lie to your insurance company about having a teen
driver in your household to save money and then call them when
your kid has an accident and you want them to pay. Complain when
you are cancelled because of undisclosed drivers.
- Put your
daughterís boyfriendís car on your car insurance policy because
you feel sorry for him and you know she ďreally loves him.Ē
After all, itís not right that his insurance company charges so
much for his tickets and accidents. When he has an accident on
your policy, you can sweat it out for a couple of years as the
other driver sues you too.
- Buy the cheapest policy you can
find and then complain later that it doesnít pay squat.
tell your agent about the classic car you are storing in your
garage. It should be covered if it burns up in the garage and
you donít want to pay higher premiums. Complain later when you
find out it isnít covered under your home insurance. Do the same
with your camper trailer, ATV, and motorcycle.
- Customize your
vehicle and donít tell the insurance company. You donít want
your rates to go up and you can argue about getting paid after
- Allow other people not listed on your policy to
drive your cars. You can complain later when you are sued
because of an accident and are cancelled because of their
- Buy some expensive jewelry and donít tell
your insurance company.
- Donít insure your home for what it
will cost to replace it so you can save a few bucks. Assessed
value should be enough. Complain during the claim process when
you get paid diddly.
SUMMER REDNECK GAMES
of you planning your summer vacation, donít miss the Summer
Redneck Games in Dublin, Georgia. Events include the Big Hair
competition (Al Szekely won with 11 inches of hair piled on top
of his head) and the Mudpit Belly Flop. Opening ceremonies
include 3,000 onlookers sitting on top of their pickup trucks
watching as a barbeque grill is set on fire. Future events will
include Mud Bogging and Bobbing for Pigís Feet.
GAY BAR IS SLAPPED
Francisco, Mecca of gays, is after the gay bar ďThe Cafť.Ē It
seems that The Cafť has forbidden kissing between heterosexuals.
Itís ok, though, if you are gay. They call it the ďno straight
make-out policy.Ē The San Francisco Human Rights Commission told
The Cafť that they were discriminating against heterosexuals and
couldnít do that anymore. The barís manager says he is now
banning heavy kissing by people of all sexual orientations
saying: ďI was trying to be sensitive to the needs of my
customers. My main complaint from customers is there are too
many straight people here.Ē
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