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DOCTORS AND LAWYERS ARE BAD DRIVERS
By Chuck Wells

We have all read that the really bad drivers, those having the most accidents, are young people and the elderly. The young drivers are inexperienced and a little flaky so they do stupid things (drive too fast for road conditions, show off, do their makeup while driving, eat a burger, shake, and fries while cruising, etc.). And the elderly pull out in front of people because they can’t see, hit parked cars, and go up one way streets causing accidents. It’s not a condemnation of these groups, but a matter of fact based upon the statistics.

But do certain professions show an increased incidence of car accidents? According to the Quality Planning Corp., your job can make a difference as to your likelihood of having accidents. Here are the results:

WORST DRIVERS:
#1: Student
#2: Medical doctor
#3: Attorney
#4: Architect
#5: Real estate broker

BEST DRIVERS:
#1: Homemaker
#2: Politician
#3: Pilot
#4: Fireman
#5: Farmer

So why do the worst drivers get all those accidents? Students are usually young and inexperienced so it is understandable that they have more accidents. Lawyers and doctors do a lot of commuting, talk a lot on the cell phone as they drive, try to multi-task as they drive, and have a lot of pressure to be places on time.

I don’t know why architects are poor drivers unless they are thinking how to analyze every minute detail of everything while driving.

Of course, real estate sales people are on the road constantly (and they like to talk with their hands) so would naturally have more likelihood of having an accident.

Insurance companies do not use your profession to determine your auto premium. Yet.

IS IT CLAM CHOWDER?

Don Johnson sued a West Palm Beach restaurant for $55,000. It seems he thought the clam chowder was potato soup and the restaurant should have told him that. He said the chowder left him with nightmares. The court gave him $407 in damages.

LAWSUIT DOWN THE TOILET?

William Tremmel decided to use a portable toilet that was set up for workers only at a construction site on the boardwalk at Virginia Beach. The workers were fed up with people using their toilet without permission so they locked Tremmel in that Johnny for 25 minutes. Tremmel is now suing the construction outfit for $100,000 for “mental suffering” even though he was not supposed to use the toilet. No word as to whether or not the judge will award money for this crap lawsuit.

THE EMPTY MUSEUM

Ilya and Emilia Kabakov set up an art exhibit in New York City that consisted of only four walls with nothing on them. That’s right, bare walls. And people are paying to see this exhibit of bare walls. “The blank walls and spotlights suggest the cruel Minimalist reduction and dematerialization of art.” These people are probably also campaigning for John Kerry so they can get some more government handouts for “art.”

ANOTHER MCDONALD’S LAWSUIT?

This little story is for all my friends at the McDonald’s in Macedon who taunt and harass me when I come in there for lunch. A 46-year-old woman is in critical condition after dropping a coin while at the drive-thru in Virginia. When she opened her door to reach down and pick up the coin, she took her foot off the brake and inched forward trapping her head in the open door which lodged against a post. Ouch! She probably should have asked for the supersize. P.S. Some of the fast food restaurants are no longer going to offer supersized meals because we are getting too fat and dumb. After all, we don’t know enough to control our own eating so someone else must be responsible. I wonder if we will be able to order two hamburgers at the same time if we are alone?

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